"All the beauty of life is made up of light and shadow."

"Without integrating our shadow, we cannot be whole."

   I find that patterns generally arise at times of significance throughout my life. Experience after experience begin to lend themselves to a greater composition of understanding. This most recent and authoritative theme has been embracing shadows, the parts of us we hide--our darkness. There is not a single person that has gone without feeling shame as a result of poor decisions, weakness, or insecurity. These acute feelings easily become tools used to tear down the great potential of God's children. They become the voices in our minds telling us that we are: broken, useless, unlovable, or unprofitable. They're powerful and destructive.

   Last week, I had the opportunity to visit an art museum with a man with a perspective that knows no bounds. While passing through rooms of paintings, he stopped to observe one without any shadows. Puzzled, he began to question what the artistic motivation might have been. I began to analyze the picture. At first glance, I wasn't able to identify any uncommon characteristics, however, as he pointed out the lack of shadow, immediately I found myself uneasy with the scene. It was odd, eerie even, for there to be no darkness.

   How true this same concept is with ourselves! Isn't it almost off-putting to see an individual whose life contains no darkness? The reality of life is that we each are full of shadows. Aspects of who we are we wish we could disguise, hide, or run from. In many case scenarios, people get discouraged (especially within the LDS faith) when these shadows seem to encapsulate any light left within them. We have been commanded to "Be ye therefore perfect" (Matthew 5:48) and perfection isn't darkness--right?

   I must admit, these voices have been running rampant within my mind as of late. Worried that my darkness would repress any light others tried to find, I feared allowing others to get too close. By keeping myself at a distance, I believed others wouldn't see my shadows, thus putting to ease all potential discomfort. However, thanks to the loving persistence of those around me, I am beginning to understand the beauty, and significance, of shadows. 

   In the scriptures, the Hebrew word that means perfection--tiklah--also means completeness. In essence, along with doing all the good that we can, we have been asked to simply be whole. For this to be possible, we must accept our shadows. Loving ourselves, every individual component, is necessary for true growth and joy in this lifetime. No one is free from aspects they wish they could change, however, "they are simply parts, not the whole of us." We need not ruminate on all that we lack. While darkness creates depth, there is light radiating within us that emanates beauty. 

   I do not have a remedy for acceptance. I cannot claim that I have completed the full process of integrating my shadows into my concept of self-worth. But this I do know: we are greatly loved by a perfect Father in Heaven. He is complete, He is whole, and as such, He accepts us, shadow and all.