My Biggest Regret
As my senior year of high school is nearing the end, I have been forced to face the person I was, the decisions I made, and how I used my time. Upon looking through the progression my life has taken, I was faced with the things I wish I had, or hadn't done. Negative things happened: I developed fibromyalgia, I put myself through damaging relationships and situations, I allowed my testimony to waiver, I went through vast periods of depression, and so on. However, if I had the opportunity to rewrite the story of what high school was for me, I wouldn't take any of those experiences out. Of course, no one ever enjoys suffering, but as I have suffered, I have grown in ways I couldn't have even imagined. High school has been when my testimony of the Savior, His Church, the Prophet Joseph Smith, and the Atonement have developed--these trials and struggles have brought me closer to the person I would like to become.
My biggest regrets come from decisions in which I deliberately chose not involve myself. From teams, to clubs, I never had the opportunity to surround myself with people who were passionate about the things that I was--I missed out on opportunities to develop relationships. Through my own poor decisions, I have found myself in a limbo. Friends I have been close with have either developed closer relationships with others, or simply decided to move on with their lives, without me being a part of them. I accept full responsibility for my contribution to my situation, however, I am faced with wondering just what I am to do.
The comforting factor among all of this is that I know that I am being watched out for; the Lord is preparing me for something. Whether it be so I have the opportunity to empathize with someone struggling to feel like they belong in the future, or maybe it's just to strengthen my ability to rely on the Lord. Big or small, I have faith that things will work out. Yes, I am struggling. Yes, life is hard right now. Yes, I have faith that all things happen for a reason. My circumstances could very well be consequences for poor decisions, yet, I am still grateful for the trials.
Despite that I regret not getting involved, I will not despair. As I look to my immediate future, I know it will be a difficult journey. However, I can prepare myself to best withstand the whirlwinds which will come my way. Continuing to develop my testimony is sure-fire to ensure my safe passage through. "And now my sons remember, remember that it is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation; that when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea, his shafts in the whirlwind, yea, when his hail and mighty storm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall" (Helaman 5:12).
In his talk, "Of Regrets and Resolutions", President Dieter F. Uchtdorf gives a wonderful counsel for how to avoid remaining on a path to regrets:
My biggest regrets come from decisions in which I deliberately chose not involve myself. From teams, to clubs, I never had the opportunity to surround myself with people who were passionate about the things that I was--I missed out on opportunities to develop relationships. Through my own poor decisions, I have found myself in a limbo. Friends I have been close with have either developed closer relationships with others, or simply decided to move on with their lives, without me being a part of them. I accept full responsibility for my contribution to my situation, however, I am faced with wondering just what I am to do.
The comforting factor among all of this is that I know that I am being watched out for; the Lord is preparing me for something. Whether it be so I have the opportunity to empathize with someone struggling to feel like they belong in the future, or maybe it's just to strengthen my ability to rely on the Lord. Big or small, I have faith that things will work out. Yes, I am struggling. Yes, life is hard right now. Yes, I have faith that all things happen for a reason. My circumstances could very well be consequences for poor decisions, yet, I am still grateful for the trials.
Despite that I regret not getting involved, I will not despair. As I look to my immediate future, I know it will be a difficult journey. However, I can prepare myself to best withstand the whirlwinds which will come my way. Continuing to develop my testimony is sure-fire to ensure my safe passage through. "And now my sons remember, remember that it is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation; that when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea, his shafts in the whirlwind, yea, when his hail and mighty storm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall" (Helaman 5:12).
In his talk, "Of Regrets and Resolutions", President Dieter F. Uchtdorf gives a wonderful counsel for how to avoid remaining on a path to regrets:
The older we get, the more we look back and realize that external circumstances don’t really matter or determine our happiness.We do matter. We determine our happiness.You and I are ultimately in charge of our own happiness.
My wife, Harriet, and I love riding our bicycles. It is wonderful to get out and enjoy the beauties of nature. We have certain routes we like to bike, but we don’t pay too much attention to how far we go or how fast we travel in comparison with other riders.However, occasionally I think we should be a bit more competitive. I even think we could get a better time or ride at a higher speed if only we pushed ourselves a little more. And then sometimes I even make the big mistake of mentioning this idea to my wonderful wife.Her typical reaction to my suggestions of this nature is always very kind, very clear, and very direct. She smiles and says, “Dieter, it’s not a race; it’s a journey. Enjoy the moment.”
How right she is!Sometimes in life we become so focused on the finish line that we fail to find joy in the journey. I don’t go cycling with my wife because I’m excited about finishing. I go because the experience of being with her is sweet and enjoyable.
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We shouldn’t wait to be happy until we reach some future point, only to discover that happiness was already available—all the time! Life is not meant to be appreciated only in retrospect. “This is the day which the Lord hath made … ,” the Psalmist wrote. “Rejoice and be glad in it.”6
Brothers and sisters, no matter our circumstances, no matter our challenges or trials, there is something in each day to embrace and cherish. There is something in each day that can bring gratitude and joy if only we will see and appreciate it.It is my opportunity in life to be happy, despite my circumstances, if I choose to allow myself to be grateful for the beauties which lie within each and every day. So yes, life doesn't seem to be heading in a direction free from pain, but it does hold the opportunity to be beautiful. How grateful I am to have this knowledge! May we all remember to find the joy hidden in our circumstances, be happy, and live without regrets.
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