The Beauty of Nothing

I wish to express the gratitude which is in my heart for the beauty which lies within the pass time of doing "nothing". While I can't turn down an invitation to participate in an exciting activity, I am more than happy to just sit around and talk if that needs be the case. In all honesty, that is how I spend a majority of my interactions with others. The people in which allow this to ensue are typically my favorite people. There's something about being comfortable enough with someone to not have to do anything in which I find great beauty. There aren't many people that I can do that with, even some of my closest friends aren't fans of the activity and feel uncomfortable when we aren't engaged in a riveting activity. However, there are a few people who will sit (or lay on the ground) with me for hours, with no particular subject of conversation, and never fail to keep me entertained.

Perhaps I have a mechanical flaw, a predisposition to be lazy, in which causes my love of nothingness. Yet, I do not feel like that is the case. I find it an anomaly to be able to talk for hours upon end with another person and never run out of subjects in which to converse upon. Unfortunately, I am not bursting forth of unbridled ability to contribute to conversation, I am fully aware that there are many times in which I just sit in silence--consumed with thoughts. I often find myself at a lack of words, thus leading to "lulls" in conversation (although usually brief). I, being the abnormal human being that I am, find joy in these moments--if in the proper company. There are times when these pauses in conversation are uncomfortable and undesirable, but there are times, while much rarer, that help me to realize who to prioritize. If you can be comfortable enough with someone to feel like you do not have to talk just for the sake of keeping things from getting awkward, it is truly a remarkable blessing.

This is how I find beauty in nothing. It helps me to discern who to invest my time in. It's a horrible test to inflict upon my unsuspecting subjects, but if they wish to continue to associate with me after spending a day in my company in which we do nothing, they certainly are one who is worth keeping around.

I really have only ever had three people that fit this description, one of them is a new addition, and yet it is no coincidence that these three people happen to be the people that I would consider to be closest to. I have always known Noel to be comfortable with just driving around and talking, and I think that is what sparked our close friendship in the beginning. The other two I have been privileged to discover also contain this remarkable attribute in this passed week. The most surprising realization came when I went to lunch with a friend of mine by the name of Kyle. Upon deciding that neither of us were hungry enough to actually go eat we stopped at a gas station, purchased drinks and a snack, and then sat in my car and talked--for hours. He and I talked about anything and everything (a majority of which was dedicated to his girlfriend). I was delighted to realize just how close of friends Kyle and I are, he and I are truly like sisters (and yes, I intended to say sisters. He and I have come to the conclusion that we are sisters in which share a bromance. It's not interesting enough to blog in detail about, but it is the case nonetheless). However, the discovery that continues to confound me is that with the newest addition to my life (he has asked to name himself if ever it came into use on this blog, but he has failed to give himself one, so he shall remain as the undisclosed subject of far too many blog posts lately). I constantly find myself entranced by his very being. He seems more than content to just converse with me, even if a majority of our conversation is just banter concerning who should decide upon an activity--little does he know that we were already participating in my favorite activity. His diction makes conversing with him a beautiful illustration--a unique trait I have only been able to discover in him. Perhaps I love just talking to him because his perspective on life and his experiences with life are so far different from anyone else I have come into contact with before. His mind is a blank canvas, completely untarnished by the stereotypes thrust upon so many by the world. He allows his mind to generate such creative views of all that is around him I have found it is becoming addicting. With each conversation there's always something new to find in him, there's never a dull moment. However, I feel like I do not exude the same enjoyable company as he does, and so if he finds himself bored with me I am more than capable of understanding that. I suppose I will just have to find ways to become a more riveting hostess for I do not want to lose a friendship with this exceptional character. Just being around him motivates me to expand upon my own knowledge, opinions and perspective--he is a motivating force for change, all for the better.

I fail to realize where I originally intended this post to end, but I shall end it by just expressing my gratitude to the Lord for allowing these people to be in my life--for allowing me to find beauty in silences. It is a gift I shall honor and treasure!