Love?
This month brings along with it the idealism of "love". Couples holding hands and giving each other chocolates. Kisses and hugs exchanged. Which is all fine and dandy, I'll let couples do whatever it is they please, and it is not my intent to bash on them with this post (okay, maybe I want to bash on them a little, but that is only because of my strong opposition to any form of "PDA" and cutesy romantic nonsense...which is bothersome to many people of whom I associate--mainly my mother and boyfriend--but I am not letting my personal dislike of such activities get in the way of this post). Instead, I intend to share my idea of what "love" really is.
Is it really an emotion as everyone believes? I personally do not think so. Instead, to me, love is a way of being. A way of living. I feel as if love is, in fact, only a term used to describe the respect, care and trust which is grown over a period of time. Perhaps, others may disagree, to them, love may, in fact, be an emotion. But love isn't like happiness, or sadness. It doesn't come on instantaneously. It grows. It's much like faith, and where faith is said to be a verb--love must also be a verb. It's acting, not feeling.
Now, don't get me wrong, there are chemical reactions in the brain--much like emotions--which occur when some claim they are feeling "love". This, I believe, is not love, but attraction. Two terms which I feel are completely different. One can find attraction in love, just as one can feel hunger while sitting in class. It doesn't mean that you are hungry only when in class, or that whenever you're in class you are going to be hungry, it simply means that they can happen together.
Why do you care about what my opinions of love are? Honestly, you probably don't, nor do you have a reason to either. The real question is: why do I care? I care because people throw love around without understanding the complexity and real meaning of the word. Oscar Wilde said it best when he said, "When one is in love, one always begins by deceiving one's self, and one always ends by deceiving others. That is what the world calls a romance." The world tends to deceive themselves when they say that they are "in love". They don't understand the true meaning of what they say. When they say they are in love, are they really experiencing that deep feeling of respect, care and devotion, or is it simply "attraction" to their partner? That's why I care. I want people to use love in the almost sacred way it deserves to be used, instead of throwing it around as if it means nothing at all.
Love is something that I take very seriously. If I use the term love, I mean it. Yes, I am young, but that doesn't mean I haven't come to my own conclusions of what love is. Maybe love, for you, is different. But I personally believe that love is:
Is it really an emotion as everyone believes? I personally do not think so. Instead, to me, love is a way of being. A way of living. I feel as if love is, in fact, only a term used to describe the respect, care and trust which is grown over a period of time. Perhaps, others may disagree, to them, love may, in fact, be an emotion. But love isn't like happiness, or sadness. It doesn't come on instantaneously. It grows. It's much like faith, and where faith is said to be a verb--love must also be a verb. It's acting, not feeling.
Now, don't get me wrong, there are chemical reactions in the brain--much like emotions--which occur when some claim they are feeling "love". This, I believe, is not love, but attraction. Two terms which I feel are completely different. One can find attraction in love, just as one can feel hunger while sitting in class. It doesn't mean that you are hungry only when in class, or that whenever you're in class you are going to be hungry, it simply means that they can happen together.
Why do you care about what my opinions of love are? Honestly, you probably don't, nor do you have a reason to either. The real question is: why do I care? I care because people throw love around without understanding the complexity and real meaning of the word. Oscar Wilde said it best when he said, "When one is in love, one always begins by deceiving one's self, and one always ends by deceiving others. That is what the world calls a romance." The world tends to deceive themselves when they say that they are "in love". They don't understand the true meaning of what they say. When they say they are in love, are they really experiencing that deep feeling of respect, care and devotion, or is it simply "attraction" to their partner? That's why I care. I want people to use love in the almost sacred way it deserves to be used, instead of throwing it around as if it means nothing at all.
Love is something that I take very seriously. If I use the term love, I mean it. Yes, I am young, but that doesn't mean I haven't come to my own conclusions of what love is. Maybe love, for you, is different. But I personally believe that love is:
- Caring about someone, deeply. Worrying about their needs, and trying to help them in any way that you can. Wanting them to smile more than anything else in the world.
- Respecting someone. Respecting their opinions, and actually listening to them. Doing what you can to show them they are important to you, and you think highly of them.
- Losing yourself for them. When you love someone, they are automatically more important than you are, and that's the end of the story. You put their needs over your own, and work for their happiness because that is what will end up bringing you happiness.
There are people who I do, in fact, love. There are people who I have loved, dearly, and it hurt more than can be comprehended when they were no longer apart of my life. And there are people I hope to be able to really, and truly love.
I think that is why I have such a strong opposition for Valentines Day. It is focused on the material, and the world's view of "love". Getting chocolates for your partner on Valentines Day means you love them, right? Not to me. To me, when you love someone, you show it to them every day of the year, not by what you get them, but by how you treat them. If you truly love someone, it becomes not a feeling, but an action.
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